Keep fucking going

DO NOT FEAR I hear you say
But I'm not afraid! I'm overwhelmed and in pain!
Diving in to memories and emotions that flooded me then and still do- when I choose.
In part I'm reminding myself how it was to feel so completely out of control and unreachable.
Is this necessary to heal? I already know the answer.
But now I write and how long has it been? I think the words only flow right when they spill out of torment and pain.
(TORMENT may be a bit strong for the current situation, but in times past was completely accurate. Ok, and yes, I've glimpsed it recently.)
Realign creative strain, embrace pain, channel for gain.
I can do this again and do it the right way. It'll be more than I can bear- then step back, take a chair, open hands. Curl up, face down, ugly cry, let it out. Cry, cry out and be consumed by flames of grace. Wipe my face, run my race. Do it again.
Again.
Again.
Again.
Keep fucking going... Until the healing sets in.