Seasons (11-06-2009)

Summer fades into cool colors
As my affect goes down with the temperature
I begin to miss the sun
Whose warmth on my skin is a gentle embrace
When love is lacking all around me.
Now as the days get colder
I yearn for the warm light on my face
Like a lover spurned and forgotten
Like a child abandoned
I grasp onto every chance
To bask in rays of heat
To be gently touched.

Shine

Shine, shine, fallen star
How I wonder why you've fallen far
Shine, shine, with your whole heart
Remember it's not over

Missing You

I'm lonely.
My heart's company have gone;
I feel left alone.
You were mine for a long while.
Now I feel I've let you go
Like petals in a current
Except I'm the one being swept away.
I plucked one of your petals
To be reminded of you.
I didn't invade your roots
So I could go on thinking I was special;
More than just another visitor admiring your bloom.
I can convince myself that I gazed the longest,
And didn't walk on by,
Or pluck you carelessly,
Therefore you will remember me.
I kept you in my heart through the seasons,
And found myself with you.
I don't regret the length or events.
I learned. More importantly,
I lived.
And now I've left you behind.
It feels clean.
It feels like gentle, peaceful sorrow.
We will never have those moments again.
I promise not to recreate, but to remember.
I know what this is.
This feels like truth.
But, for the moment,
I miss you.

Starling (new song)

Oh, to fly, even just for a moment
And oh, to take wing,
On the new springs and drafts of the air
There is my freedom
My small and one chance at wonder
There lies my strong will
To leave and be everywhere but here

CHORUS:
To take heart, to take wing
To leave this place stronger for the past things
To be new, to be free
A starling, a break in the making

Oh, to fall away, from the "You'll never make it,
Don't even try little girl"
Close my eyes, my ears, and cry
Out against the "Never good enough" girl
Wishing for just one to believe in my world,
And me

BRIDGE:
The silence is killing me
When do I get to sing again?
Mourning is not my breed
But now it's (forced upon me/ overtaken me)  (2)

CHORUS (2)

A starling, a break in the making

Darling, for you I am staying.

...

A silent scream
Vibrations incapable of reaching air;
Unheard and ignored
In the scramble to reduce the
Harsh, bleak sound of nothing;
Frustration ensues; rage encompasses
Mighty and terrifying within.
     Screaming is ringing in my ears
     My own unvoiced
     Restrained, restricted, reprimanded.
     Nobody knows, nobody knows
     Empathy, understanding unfound
     Sympathy unwanted.
Confined, chained, captive
Held by the iron paper chains
Around my paper skin.
Prison bars behind my eyes;
An iron clasp behind my ear
Circling my neck a hint of gold
Where maybe a key once was.
     Secretly secreting sound.
     Seemingly unfounded attacks
     Arouse and enrage.
     Focus; open wide
     Or confirm my supicions.
And Oh! To be free...
From you, from them,
And to fly! Leaving, soaring, wishing
High into the sun and
Let my skin melt,
A pleasant and surprising turn of events.


** I feel like this needs cliffnotes, like a shakespearean play. Each individual line reeks with hidden meaning and analogy. I'm going to leave it how it is for now, and go under the assumption that anyone who really cares to find out what the unobvious parts mean will ask me. I'll gladly offer explanation, just ask. Also, there is no title, a purposeful decision meant to embody the silent emotion in the body of this piece. **

There For You

I know I may be small, But I am stronger than you know,
And I'm not leaving, No I won't let you go
And don't you know I see you?

I will be there for you
Through the good times and bad
I will walk with you
And when there's no one else around
I will hold your hand
And I will be there for you

When the rain is falling down, You don't have to act so strong
You don't have to pretend cuz I'm here for the long run
And don't you know I love you?

You can rely on me, I'll always be there for you
And if you still don't see, Let me make it clear to you

I will be there for you
Through the good times and bad
I will walk with you
And when there's no one else around
I will hold your hand
And I will be there for you.

Invi(n)sible Without You.

I have to fight this; I have to beat this
I must move on; I must move
Forward.
Without you? Without you.
It will work to bury all parts
Of my old self
Put them away. Walk away.
And so
You are not there. Invisible.
As with myself; becoming invisible
Ignored.
Unaffected by.
And now
I have to train my eyes to see
Right through you. Right through you.
I have to train my mind
"No one's there. I don't care. No one's there."
Strength. Stubborn.
Possible! Watch me win.
I'll do better without you.
So
Moving on; moving forward
Without you?
Yes.
It's for the best.