Sunday, March 1, 2020

Almost Home

Every nerve screaming.
Exhausted. Starving.
I hate myself.
Ashamed and misrepresented
I swear I'm losing my mind
Seeing and hearing echos of things that aren't
Bite my tongue. Clench my teeth.
Shaking.
The closer I get to home the heavier I feel.
Every step slower.
Defeated. 
Will the door be locked?
Did I really blow it this time?
The dread
Of what will happen 
when I go in 
fights against 
the overwhelming hunger 
and need for sleep.
36 hours without either.
How many times do I have to
Choose this hell
To realize
It's not the road i want to walk-
Then actually choose a different road?
When will I be done with this? 

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