Hostage

I kept hoping I'd see you;

That you'd see me...

Pull over, tell me "Get in the fucking truck"

And I'd be free.

Because you see, I'm a hostage

Until it runs it's course

My disease is savage

Only the first course is willingly devoured

Then it turns on me

Turns me on

Turns me loose

I have no say

At least for a day

Or two

Or three

It turns on me

Eating me

Alive

Until sometimes I'd rather die

Than continue

So I escape in my head

With savior fantasies

Someone who cares enough to come for me

Who am I kidding no one's looking for me

But it's enough to get me through

To that next mind numbing hit

And the cycle's on repeat

Until I forfeit...

Go home, eat, sleep, cry

Ashamed I'm not strong enough to save myself

Wondering if someone else could...

But no one came to look for me

No one even tried.